i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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