I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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