just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
