No stitches, just platelets and will power
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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