I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize