If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
