it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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