Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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