If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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