Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
