i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
