Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
