fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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