So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
