just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
