The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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