Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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