First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
