dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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