just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
