The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
