HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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