BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need moral support for this bender
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
