She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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