she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
