who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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