Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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