Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
