her vagine was all disorganized.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
