Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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