Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
