She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
