how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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