i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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