in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
