Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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