I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
