quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
