Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
