Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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