Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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