Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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