I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
