Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
