I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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