I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I could fuck to npr.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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