soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
