how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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