I want to make a zoo with you.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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