what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
