Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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