a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
