I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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