As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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