Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
