Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's never too late to be topless.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize