Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
